I started feeling better on Monday. I went to the gym early and did my workout. I only rode the bike for one mile again. My chest was hurting and I was beat red. I felt like I was pushing myself too hard. I was very proud of myself. I also checked into the hotel we are staying at in Decatur. It has a workout room and I was glad! WTF?? Me checking to see if they had a workout room??

Today is Thursday. I started feeling kinda crummy on Tuesday but I still bowled. I sweated like crazy.

By Weds I was sick again. I did not work out. I did not care.

I feel much worse today. My chest is hurting and it is scaring me. I need to go to the doctor. I talked with Jana tonight. She convinced me to cancel my party. I hated to do that but I really feel bad.

I just want to get better right now.

I woke up and I was still sick. This ridiculous! I am not going to get better sitting on the couch. I decided to go do my workout anyway. I was afraid to let anymore time go by w/o doing it. I went and did my whole workout plus 1 mile on the bike. I sweated like a pig. I wanted to sweat this crap out of my body. I WENT AND WORKED OUT WHEN I WAS SICK!! This is a good thing.

Today is Sunday and I am still sick but I am proud of myself.

I weighed 215 on Saturday.

Friday still sick...no working out until I am better. I pray this doesn't stop me from continuing on with my workout in the future. I was going to go on Weds but I got tripped up shopping with Steven and didn't make it back out. No excuses...just fact for right now. Crossing my fingers...

It is Weds and I was supposed to workout today. I am sick with some kind of crummy virus so I decided not to go today. I am coughing and I was afraid I would scare the people in the gym. There is so much crap going around now that everyone is scared to death of getting sick.

I did go out and get my hair done today though. She had an opening so I jumped on it. I didn't feel as bad as I sound. I did come home and take a nap. I also went by Culver's for a cheeseburger and peach ice cream. Not a good idea but very good tasting.

I hope I can get back to the gym quickly so I don't get out of the habit.

We will see.

Sooo Proud

I did it! I actually went and worked out on Saturday. I didn't let the fact that I wasn't perfect get in my way of continuing on my road to recovery. I still don't have my eating under control. I am still drinking diet pop.

Today is Monday and I had to get up at 5:15 am to take Mike to the airport. I went in my workout clothes. I stopped on my way home and worked out at 7:45!! I can't believe it! I am so proud of myself for working out. I am trying. I weighed this morning as I do every time I go...I weighed 220 lbs! That means I have gained 4 lbs. WTF!!!

I am not giving up...I will continue...I will try....I will get it together!!

I did go on Weds... I did the treadmill for 20 mins then all of the weight machines. I tried to do 2 miles on the bike but I could only do 1 mile...I had to push myself to do that. But I did it!! Yippee

Today is Friday and I was supposed to workout today but my niece is in town and both of my daughters were off work. We all spent the day together and went to the mall. I didn't get to walk enough to take care of my workout. I feel confused and scared. I am afraid since I wasn't 'perfect' and kept to my schedule of Mon Wed Fri that I messed up. I hate to be imperfect...

My plan is to go tomorrow to do my routine. I don't know if I can do it or not but I am going to try.

I am still not off diet pop completely...it is really hard. I am still eating cookies...this sucks. My pants are tight and I don't feel good in my clothes. Every time I wear something different I am afraid I am too big to get into them.

I hope I don't let myself down.

Hard to believe but I went to the HC on Friday and walked 1 1/2 miles on the treadmill! It helped because I had my headphones plugged in and I watched Law & Order. It really kept my mind busy. I was so proud of myself! I walked at 2.9 mph and it took me 40 mins. WooHoo.

I still can't control my eating yet. But I believe it will fall into place soon. It is like I can only do one thing at a time.

I decided to not do volunteer work right now. I am committed to volunteer to workout 3 times a week instead. I am going to give to myself for a change. It is like going to work because I have made the commitment. I just make myself go. I don't want to go but I do anyway because I am depending on myself to show up.

I weighed 217 when I started now I weigh 219! I am not discouraged. I will continue to go because I want to feel better and be stronger.

Today is Monday and I went for my final evaluation. Melissa, the trainer, helped me work through my weight routine. I got there early and walked on the treadmill for 20 minutes first. After my routine I used the exercise bike and clocked 2 miles! It really helps for me to watch tv. I was sweaty and hot but I felt great that I did it. I called Anne and told her about my accomplishments. She was proud of me too.

I don't know how this is going to end up, but I plan to go back for more on Weds!

I hope this works.