Friday 8/6/09

I went to the doctor yesterday to get my yearly pelvic exam. I had to step on the scales there, 212!! Those scales are probaly accurate. I don't want to weight over 200lbs, so I need to do something NOW! Here I sit with my first Diet Sunkist of the day, I am sure that many will follow. Maybe today I can make a pitcher of Iced Tea. At least it is decaf, but I think the sweetener is the problem. It makes me hungry. I wonder if I went back to sugar like we had back in the olden days if it would create hunger. We have so many additives to our food now it is no wonder everyone has cancer and everyone is obese.

I see myself continuing to grow. I even shop that way knowing to buy big because I am going to need it. I am really depressed and I am ashamed of being depressed because I have a dream life. I am so lucky why would I do this to myself. I really think I need to go back to work but I don't think I will. I miss interacting with people. I am lonely. I am reliving my life with Frank in writing my blog. It is good to see how far I have come.